GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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