It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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