theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
