Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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