and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
