Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
