I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
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He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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