How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
