Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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