four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
