I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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