goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm eating all of the evidence.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
