my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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