he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
