she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
