Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize