I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
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My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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