Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
