if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I party with great urgency now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
