I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
