the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
