U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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