After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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