So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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