P.S. I can't hear my feet
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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