It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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