dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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