Having a random hookup so left but love u
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
