I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
