I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
