I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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