I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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