u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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