First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
