R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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