I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
