Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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