Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
