am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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