i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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