if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal