Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Not having phil's child is good enough.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

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(360): View more from Washington

We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...

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