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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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• (925): View more from California

  Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (914): View more from New York

  i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think

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• (951): View more from California

  omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

  (951): View more from California

  dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar

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