Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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