Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
