This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
