that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize