She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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