wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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