I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
