She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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