Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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