her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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