you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?