we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?