you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
The only downside is I can't stop skipping