I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
