Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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