the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
