idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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