video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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