im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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