glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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