My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
